Log in

No account? Create an account

bam4ever's Journal

Thursday, August 2, 2007

1:31AM - Stupid Frank Sinatra Songs

... that make me cry like a baby, I mean.

There's "I Get Along Without You Very Well"

I get along without you very well
Of course, I do
Except when soft rains fall
And drip from leaves
Then I recall
The thrill of being sheltered in your arms
Of course, I do
But I get along without you very well

Ive forgotten you just like I should
Of course, I have
Except to hear your name
Or someones laugh that is the same
But Ive forgotten you just like I should

What a guy
What a fool am i
To think my breaking heart
Could kid the moon
Whats in store
Should I fall once more
No, its best that I stick to my tune

I get along without you very well
Of course, I do
Except perhaps in spring
But I should never think of spring
For that would surely break my heart in two

Whats in store
Should I fall once more
No, its best that I stick to my tune

I get along without you very well
Of course, I do
Except perhaps in spring
But I should never think of spring
For that would surely break my heart in two

and "In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning"

In the wee small hours of the morning
While the whole wide world is fast asleep
You lie awake and think about the girl
And never ever think of counting sheep

When your lonely heart has learned its lesson
Youd be hers if only she would call
In the wee small hours of the morning
Thats the time you miss her most of all

Oh, and let's not forget "I've Grown Accustomed To her Face"

I've grown accustomed to her face
She almost makes the day begin
I've grown accustomed to the tune she whistles night and noon
Her smiles, her frowns, her ups, her downs
Are second nature to me now
Like breathing out and breathing in

I was serenely independent and content before we met
Surely I could always be that way again and yet
I've grown accustomed to her looks, accustomed to her voice
Accustomed to her face

I'm very grateful she's a woman and so easy to forget
Rather like a habit one can always break and yet
I've grown accustomed to the trace of something in the air
Accustomed to her face

Current mood: crushed

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

4:34PM - Some Pics from My Childhood

I found this while I was looking through some old photos. It's me at 4 years old with my cousin Ton (he's 3 months younger than me). I'm totally freaked by the thought of me as a toddler. I can't even imagine ever being this young. *shudder* And yet I was. Huh.

Here's me and Ton some twenty-something years later. The one in the pink (?) dress is his sister, Kaye. You know... I think Ton is starting to lose his hair. Gah, we're old!

Here's me, my cousin Ino, and my two sisters, Kristin and Michelle. Check out the retro 70's print curtain (and this was the 80's!). Even then I had a bitch face. I can't believe I ever tucked in my t-shirt into my shorts. I was such a dork.

This picture is of somebody's birthday party. Try to spot which one I am. I'm not the little girl in the blue jumper and the pigtails. I'm not the little girl in the skirt. I'm not the little girl smiling bashfully next to that old woman in the red muumuu (my grandmother). I'm not the one in the back in the school uniform. I'm not the baby. If you guessed "the little boy covering his mouth and standing in front of the very brown old man (my grampa)," then give yourself a prize. No, I wasn't a little boy. My mom just liked to cut my hair short when I was a kid because I always got gum in it. Also, cooties.

Here's a picture that definitely freaked me out. This is my mother and her older sister, Susie. My mom is the one in the white striped shirt. Check out Jesus looking on disapprovingly! Must be 'cause he knows my mom isn't wearing a bra! My mom was a hippy-rebel back in the day.

And finally, this is me looking totally hot. AND SKINNY. WTF. This can't be me! I don't smoke. And yet it looks eerily like me. I'm convinced someone photoshopped that cigarette onto my fingers. I call shenanigans!

Thursday, April 5, 2007

6:38PM - Laura Kinsale glom

I'm on a Laura Kinsale glom right now. I ran out of books to read by Robin McKinley and was looking for an author who writes powerful, haunting prose as well as strong characters. I was hesitant to pick up Laura Kinsale again after feeling emotionally eviscerated by Flowers from the Storm, but decided the lady shouldn't be judged by one book. I just finished My Sweet Folly and will be reviewing it on Not Chick Porn soon enough, but as I was telling Candy, I liked it, but it didn't blow me away. I was so fucking excited by the first few chapters that when Ms. Kinsale started introducing external plots in the later chapters that served to only separate our hero and heroine, it pissed me off. It just wasn't as tight as the beginning of the book. I was also a little disappointed that Robert Cambourne wasn't as batshit crazy as the blurb made him out to be. Stupid Lying Blurb! I'll get 'chu! I also got Uncertain Magic and all the books with the Heart in the title. I can't believe that the hero of the Shadow and the Star is a fucking ninja. How cool is that?

Current mood: nerdy

Saturday, March 31, 2007

1:55AM - New Fascination

I discovered meez.com today and spent hours on it when I was supposed to be working. Yeah, I spent all day making avatars of THE CHARACTERS in my head. Yeah, I think I'm crazier than LKH a tad bit. I tried telling myself today that it is not possible that I'm crazier than she is, but she only shops for imaginary people... I make AVATARS! By the way, if you can't tell, that's me... well, the avatar representation of me... down to the messy bun, emo glasses, and snarky t-shirt that says "Blog This!" I'm way cuter as an avatar. Skinnier too! Damn it. I couldn't find any chubby Asian chicks on there. Meez.com doesn't believe in fatties. NO FATTIES for Meez.com.

Current mood: bored

Thursday, March 29, 2007

1:34PM - I'm Obsessed with Funny T-Shirts

I'm a grown-ass woman. In fact, I'm closer to 30 than I'm more comfortable with and my mother keeps telling me to dress like my age. Confession time: I don't know how to dress my age. Shit, am I supposed to be shopping at Ann Taylor and stuff? It'd be one thing if I were working in Wall Street or something, but I'm... well, I'm an author. I work in my underwear with my hair uncombed and a bowl of ramen noodles on my stomach most of the time. Sometimes, I don't even shower until Tim comes home from his corporate-ladder job, barges into my office, leans down to kiss me, and says, "Goddamn, you smell." Why shouldn't I wear funny t-shirts that crack me up when I look in the mirror? I'm a t-shirt and jeans girl. I don't have a lot of pretty dresses or skirts... and my buddy Syd is going to shriek when she reads this, but... I only have 4 pairs of shoes, one of them a pair of really raggedy Birkenstocks. I'm just not... a fancy girl, I guess.

By the way, the picture on the right is not me. That is... a dude. And in case you can't read the t-shirt, it says "My Other Ride is Your Mom" and I just bought it from Snogger Tees.

I'm so weak, dude. I also bought this tee. Fo' sho'.

Current mood: amused

12:22PM - Yes, Mother, I May Have Sold Another

... I'm hopeful right now. Working out the details with a couple of collaborators (Bonnie Dee and Annie Dean) on an anthology. I think it may be a sure-shot... but... don't want to jinx it. Will let you know the dealie once I got it all worked out.

Current mood: hopeful

11:45AM - How awesome is this?

Friday, March 23, 2007

2:26PM - My 1st Book Cover

I am thrilled to bits, I tell ya. He looks kind of like Wentworth Miller from Prison Break, though Shuzluva tried to tell me he looks like Justin Timberlake. He looks nothing like Ollie, my hero, but... I'm also sharing this cover with 3 other womyn, so that's cool. Anyway, I'm very thankful that this cover is pretty damn sexy (even if he DOES look a little bit like Timberlake), 'cause you know that cover gods were just itching to strike my ass down.

HOLLA! Check out the book, y'all. It's coming out on August 17, 2007 from Samhain Publishing.

Current mood: ecstatic

Thursday, March 1, 2007


(not to be confused with the Scribe Virgin)

March 1, 2007 1:11PM, Deadline: March 2, 2007

FINISHED!! I AM DONE!! Okay, I still need to polish it up a little and write the synop, but damn... so proud of myself. I AM Awesome! Whose house? Bam's house! (Say what?) Whose house? Bam's house!

Current mood: happy

Thursday, February 22, 2007

8:41AM - Whoa... I have an author page!

How exciting is this shit? You can check it out here. It doesn't have anything under it yet, but it will. Wow, I feel like a real author!

Current mood: excited

Saturday, February 17, 2007

11:31PM - The Power of Queen

I thought Brandon Routh was a little wooden (heh-heh... wood) in his performance as Superman/Clark Kent in Superman Returns (super-fucking-hot, but wooden... heh-heh wood)... but... somehow this little song by Queen makes him electric. I mean, it makes me him MANtastic! I want to lick him like a lollipop and suck him dry, yeah? Like... fucking fab-yooo-lous, ya know? Is it 'cause the rumors are true... and he's teh gay?

Current mood: horny

10:37PM - Oh God, Oh God, Oh...

Fuck. I think I'm going to throw up. This thing is due on March 2nd. AND I've got 2 Finals, 2 novellas, and an autobiography due.

Dear God, this writing thing is hard. Is it too late to switch to nursing?

Current mood: pessimistic

Friday, February 16, 2007


Candy had to remind me about my super-secret blog 'cause I had forgotten all about it. Seriously. that's why the lack of post.


Oh, it's true! It's true. These wonderful people at Samhain thought I was speshul and stuff enough to be a part of their anthology, "A Midsummer Night's Steam" and my widdle story (less than 15k long) will be released in ebook from sometime this summer... AND in print in the summer of next year. 2008. YAY! Anyway, here is the blurb.

What Leilani wants, Leilani gets. That is, until she meets the enigmatic Oliver Clayton, her new neighbor. For some reason, Oliver seems to be intent on avoiding her even though he's obviously interested. Leilani has tried to everything to get his attention, from wearing skimpy little outfits to walking a neighbor's dog six times in front of his yard. Leilani wants Oliver… and she always gets her man.

In the heat of the summer, the temperature's not only thing rising. Luckily, Oliver has that pool in his backyard and Leilani knows just how to cool off…

Now here's what I'm slightly worried about. I like... NAY, I love reviewing books. I like making fun of book covers. But now that I'm officially an author, does that mean I have to stop reviewing books and making fun of covers? 'Cause I think I'm rather good at it.

Maybe I should just make a rule not to review e-books (for the time being) OR review outside the genre. What do you think?

Current mood: accomplished

Tuesday, May 9, 2006

8:44PM - Damn these songs

I don't know why certain songs turn me on. I think it's the beats.

You know what song gets my panties soakin'? "Tell Me Something Good" by Chaka Khan and Rufus. That song just makes me want to take my clothes off and dance on a table or something. I think it's the grunting in the background. It's very... I don't know... primal. I've never had sex while this song is playing in the background.

Can anyone explain this shit to me? How can a song make anyone horny?

Current mood: predatory

Friday, May 5, 2006

9:08AM - My uncle Al

I remember my Uncle Al being a giant, jolly man with a big black mustache. He was married to my mom's younger sister, Laurie. Sometimes, he was grumpy, especially in the morning, but he was a nice man.

He had a stroke a few years ago and hadn't been the same since.

He died this morning. My mother is beside herself.

I had a rant planned about the over-usage of the plot contrivance "matehood" in romance novels, but...

Yeah. May the angels guide you to heaven, Uncle Al.

Current mood: sympathetic

Wednesday, May 3, 2006

7:06PM - Sexually Harassed!

I work at a law firm. That law firm is down the street from my house and that is the main reason that I work there. I go to work everyday dressed in a pair of baggy jeans and a t-shirt that usually has something pop culture-y on it. In short, I don't go to work dressed to kill.

Today, as I was bent over putting away some files, this guy I work with came up behind me (no, he didn't mount me, you pervs) and said in a creepy ass voice, "You better be careful about bending over around here. Someone might take advantage of it." I mean, eww! I was sexually harassed, right?

And he always says shit like that to me. I'd say something to my boss, but the people in the office trade sexual innuendoes like it ain't no thang. Yeah... the office I work at is like... Ally McBeal 'cept with unattractive people. I mean, I don't want to be known as the whistleblower, you know?

And honestly, I don't think the guy means anything by it. I think it's really just something they do at that office.

Tim asked me if I wanted to quit, but... I don't know, man. It's down the street from my house.

Current mood: aggravated

Tuesday, May 2, 2006

11:23PM - On Being a Reviewer

I review romance novels. And I love it. I love reading them by the bushels and telling the world what I think about them.

But I'm also a writer. I don't want anyone to think that I'm just bashing their shit because I think my stuff is better. It's not and a lot of the writers of the books that I review are a lot more talented than me. I acknowledge this as fact.

First and foremost, I'm a reader. I'm a fan. I love the romance writing world. But you can't expect me to read crappy shit and not call you on it.

If I review books that aren't in the same sub-genre that I write, would that make it more okay?

Why do I feel apologetic?

Current mood: thoughtful

11:01PM - Umm

This is my first LJ entry. I'm embarassed to say that as a writer, I have nothing to say. Nothing. Stupid blank page. Was it Hemingway who said that the scariest thing to a writer is a blank page? Ah, what the hell does he know? He ate his own gun, didn't he? I'm not gonna go out that way, man. Not me.

Anyway, I wrote a story for my fiction class about a guy obsessed with his shy girl neighbor who is secretly a dominatrix. Do you want to know what my workshop buddies said about it? Too porny. One guy even said, "Well, I read it in two different ways: 1) It's a straight fiction piece with a little more sex than normal or 2) It's an erotica piece. I think if you revised it and cut out the cheesy romance shit, you can elevate it from cheesy romance shit." He said he also found it hard to believe that all the shy heroine had to do to become a hottie was take down her hair and remove her glasses. Umm... yeah, that's how I become hot. How about you? And fuck you, Pretentious Workshop Guy! I don't need your approval (well, maybe a little).

This is the same guy who said, "I don't understand why anyone would want to read a romance novel. It's cheesy, unrealistic, and badly written." I didn't say, "How would you know? Do you read romance novels regularly?" I didn't even tell him that the romance writing industry generates 1.3 billion dollars a year. Why should I have to justify my love for all things romance novel to anyone?

Current mood: blah